Ode to a Norovirus

Oh! Norovirus.
Why must you torment my guts?
Wishing death comes quick.

Gatorade cut with
Smart Water. Electrolytes
for the win..? I hope.

Sweat. Sweat. Sweat. Sweat. Sweat.
Pillow, neck, hands, and face are
Nuclear Red too.

First Day with Red Hair

Hair is not Nucle-
ar Red. It's "Devil's Dick Red."
Love you too, Cousin.

Yes, my hair is bright
as fuck red. Please remind me
every five minutes.

"Your hair is...uh...red."
"I'm gonna call you 'Red' now."
So creative, guys.

I get it. It's "cool."
And "edgey." It's not to a-
muse you. I'm just weird.

Dexter in My Bathroom

After dying my
hair Nuclear Red my tub
looks like a crime scene.