A Lover Letter to Public Bathrooms

Sir! And/or Madam!
Did yo' Mama not teach you
a thing 'bout bathrooms?

Have we as humans
forgot the sacred yet com-
mon courtesy flush?

And with the modern
invention of poo-purri
can't you mask that stank?

Please look at the seat
when you get up, too. Must you
leave it piss covered?

Stop clogging the john
with eight feet of one(ish)-ply
you damn dirty ape.

Does the counter need
puddles? I think not. Germy,
dirty puddles. Gross.

How hard is it to
throw your paper towel in
the friggin' trash, huh?

A Battle with Luna

Seriously, Cat?!
Scratching my face does NOT make
me want to feed you.

No. No. No. NO. NO!
You can not snuggle with me
after face attacks.

Get out, Luna cat.
Shared bathroom time has been sus-
pended. Shoo. Go. Now.

Fine. You can stay but
you can't rub on my legs and
be wicked cute, k?

You had one rule, cat.
One. You purr in the face of
my authority.

Dexter in My Bathroom

After dying my
hair Nuclear Red my tub
looks like a crime scene.